Blue Ridge Parkway to Shenandoah National Park

As you enter Virginia you will see a small sign informing you of a little known regulation which requires you to begin singing "Country Roads" by John Denver.  But wait, you say, that's West Virginia.  Is it really?  Or, is he referring to the western portion of Virginia or perhaps the town of West, Virginia?  These are the type of arguments you have with your spouse when he insists you stop singing about the Blue Ridge Mountains and mountain mamas over and over again.

The best way to experience the Parkway is to relax, enjoy the vistas, go slow and stop every 15 miles to recover from the nausea inducing back and forth turns that never end.  Henceforth, I shall fondly refer to this road as the Barfway.

Some nice, misty, mountain views

About 50 tunnels, all filled with zombies

Lucky for me we had reservations halfway through the parkway at a little place called Meadows of Dan.  Based on the name alone I should have known it was gonna be a little odd.  Sure enough, we find the place we were looking for and there was no one there, not a single soul which was creepy/wonderful depending on which of us you asked.

So, we just made ourselves at home and opened the Bambi door and turned up the music and started dinner.  As we sat down to have a glass of wine inside, these two, young, blonde women show up outta nowhere holding two bottles of wine.  In broken, giggly english/german they somehow got across to us that they needed a corkscrew.  Hmm, well all I can say is this may or may not have resulted in an international incident but Fred was more than willing to help them for some reason.  He opened their wine and they went on their way happy as could be.

The winds howled all night and the next morning the German girls were gone and these invasion of the body snatcher pods were surrounding the Bambi.  Coincidence?  I think not.

I was happy to leave.

Back on the Barfway, we dodged our share of bicyclists, deer, wild turkeys, tourists taking dogwood pictures and drop offs to eventually arrive at Shenandoah National Park.

Shenandoah National Park has more plant species than all of Europe.  I'll give you a minute to absorb that tidbit.  Talk about almost heaven.

Doggy woods were out in force

Wildflowers Galore (wasn't she a dancer?)

But for sheer variety and alien weirdness, I personally believe you can not beat a nice patch of fungi and Shenandoah has lots.

Fun Guy points out some Fungi

After settling in, we took a short hike on the Appalachian Trail.  Like, really short but technically we can now brag that we have, in fact hiked the Appalachian Trail.  We should have done this in our misspent youth because now the spirit is willing, but the flesh, not so much.

This part of the trail ends at section where all those hikers who should have known better end up

The museum at the visitor center had these boots that were donated by a woman who did the trail in 1978.

Later in the day I offered to donate mine, but they declined

The aptly named Big Meadows camping area where we were staying

A few of our campground companions, Eastern Towhee, a Raven on the nest with three chicks and a cat bird

Stony Man Mountain

Life is full of compromises, I listen to Grateful Dead on Sirius radio and Fred let's me practice my roadside interpretive dance routines

On our last hike of the last day, it started raining like a cow pissin' on a flat rock and our computer basically began having an epileptic fit so we took that as a sign that it was time to head on down the road to Cape May, New Jersey.

Next stop, home state of Tony Soprano.

Asheville, N.C. to Shenandoah National Park

Ah, Asheville I remember it like it was only yesterday, which means not at all, but not so long ago Austin was like you in so many ways.  Young and fun and silly and affordable.  Now Austin is like an obnoxious, ill-mannered teenager who steals twenties from your wallet and plays it's music too loud.

All too soon, Asheville I fear you too will succumb to the same fate but for now here are the things I think will sound the death nell because they are the things that will sing the siren song to the hordes looking for a cool place to hang.

1. Old Hippies/Crazy People/Hipsters - Check Check Check
2. Yummy Food Scene - Check (insert Southern instead of Mexican)
3.  Music/Art Scene - Check (insert Banjo instead of Guitar)
4. Yarn Bombing - Huh, what?

Oh, people don't yarn bomb in your town?  This is how it works, you go to bed just like any other night and when you wake in the morning you find the stop sign, fire hydrant, flag pole, etc. at the end of your street all knitted up like a tea cozy or swathed in a warm sweater.  Why, you ask?  Well, for the same reason people climb mountains of course.

This is the beginning of the end Asheville

All of this to say that I would love to move here.  It's greener than Austin and the traffic jams are laughable compared to an I-35 commute.  The houses are cuter and there are still fixer uppers here.  Also, did I mention the food?

That's a bowl of heavy cream, butter and grits with a few decorative shrimp and a fistful of bacon.  Nuf, said

 Another selling point, micro-breweries and did I already mention old hippies?

This was the view from our little RV camping spot, that's Asheville on the left

We ate, we drank, we ate some more then we walked around town and I tried to convince Fred that we should sell our house and move here.

He's mulling it over I can tell, or maybe he spotted a bird hard to say

But, at the end of day......our friends don't live here.  But, once those new property tax bills arrive I might be able to convince 'em.

Downton Abbey, I mean Biltmore

One of the things you simply must do while in Asheville is visit the Biltmore estate especially right now because they are having an exhibit of the outfits from Downton Abbey.  I know, right! You're bored already aren't you?

Well, lucky for you Biltmore does not allow photos, video, sketch books or anyone with a photographic memory.  So, you won't be forced to looked at sequin dresses from the 1920s or photos of the maids quarters or the Vanderbilt's privy.

I guess whenever they noticed an empty plot of land they just Built More

We also took a quick stroll of the gardens and the conservatory but honestly after looking at 145 rooms we were plum tuckered out.

I've got several grocery store orchids myself, so take that Mr. Vanderbilt

Next up the Blue Ridge Parkway and Shenandoah National Park.

Austin to Smoky Mountains National Park

Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Fred,
Poor Austiner barely kept a-stand his shed,
Then one day he was nappin' and a-dreaming,
Said come on hon' let's do a little streamin'

Airstreamin' that is,
Bambi style, Eastcoast bound

So we loaded up the Ford F-150 pretty much exactly like the Clampetts except with the Bambi in tow instead of Granny and headed out east not so much to check out hillbillies per se just some actual hills, like the Smokies and the Adirondacks.  The truly sad part about comparing myself to the Clampetts is that I now realize I am probably closer in age to Granny than Ellie Mae.

But first, we made an overnight stop right outside Little Rock, Ark. at an RV spot right next to the Arkansas River.  Nothing special about the place except that it was within walking distance of the Clinton Presidential Library and downtown Little Rock.

Just gettin' started, look how sparkly, shiny the Bambi is

A quick jog over the Arkansas River to the Presidential Library

The library was definitely worth a visit but Fred and I were scratching our heads over the dinosaur exhibit.  I mean nothing defines the Clinton administration quite like the Mesozoic Era???

Any Monica exhibits inside?  Hey, settle down now

Touring libraries without books can really work up an appetite so we went in search of dinner.  A quick tour of a two block area yielded fried pickles, fried catfish, fried grits, fried hushpuppies, fried pies and......wait for it.

Fried Salad

Don't ever change Arkansas

Arkansas to Huntsville, Alabama

We spent three lovely days with my sister and her family touring around Huntsville visiting the botanical gardens and space museum and provisioning for the upcoming Smoky Mountain National Park portion of the trip.

Botanical Garden was bursting with field of wildflowers

They were having a lego exhibit with some pretty over the top projects like life sized buffalo and giant hummingbirds and butterflies but these were my favorite.

 Huge lilly pads with koi and frog

Fred visited the Space Museum while I shopped for antiques with my sister.  This was his favorite of all the rockets, space shuttles, jet engines, etc.

Airstream mobile quarantine facility

Enjoyed the hell out of our visit with the fam, well until I found this on my sister's bookshelf.

Very funny, sister dear

Huntsville to Great Smoky Mountains National Park - Day 1

Vacation 2015 is on in earnest and with that comes the most awesome responsibility of the trip.

The photographing of Fred in front of signs

Our first order of business was to buy a tee shirt, pick a campsite, make dinner and pick a hike for early the next morning.  Not too early though, because despite what you might have learned in Biology class it isn't language that separates us from the lower vertebrates, it's a tidy camper and a well-made bed.

Campsite Picked

 Cowboy casserole for dinner

Easy hike to Laurel Falls

Laurel Falls

I have a theory about waterfalls.  Recent finds in the fossil record indicate that human beings are patently incapable of not photographing water tumbling down rock slopes.  Even if you have photos of hundreds of waterfalls and don't plan on taking another one you will do it anyway.  You'll look at it and think nah it's not that impressive but then the waterfall will whisper to you and you will slowly raise your camera, every. single. time.

Here is further proof, these girls were photographing a small rivulet of water pouring out of what was basically a large culvert.  Resistance is futile.

Fred, thinking to himself do I really need another waterfall photo.  Yup you do.

Day 2

The most important thing about hiking in any National Park is get up and go as early as you can stumble out of bed and stagger to the trail head otherwise you will be cursing the lack of a parking space and dealing with crying kiddos and exasperated parents trying to force them to enjoy the great outdoors dammit.

So Fred dragged me up the Chimney Tops trail which pretty much looked like this for a thousand steps straight up.

Fred scrambled like a goat up to the tippy top but I chickened out on the last part and sat on a log instead eating cheez-its and taking pictures of birds and flowers.

Uh, no not happening

That's the north end of a south bound goat

This is what I'm told the view looks like on top

Some random, unsuspecting birds and flowers I was able to sneak up on while Fred was crawling over rocks.

Bluets

Chestnut-sided Warbler

Canada Warbler

Day 3

Our last day in the park we took a walk along a nature trail that winds through some of the old farms that the government bought up in the 1930s to make the park.  

Jed says come and sit a spell

I can picture myself by this fireplace, in a rocking chair with a cozy fire, dinner cooked from crops that I planted out back.  Of course, I can also picture myself freezing to death in winter because I probably couldn't start that fire without a butane lighter and if that rocking chair didn't come from Pottery Barn and the dinner didn't arrive by delivery, starvation and sitting on the floor might also be in that picture.

These are tiger and pipevine swallowtail butterflies sucking up salt on a river bank

No way Fred, I insist that we start at the beginning of the trail

I guess Atmospheric Haze National Park was already taken or didn't have the same ring to it.

We loved the Smokies and I wish we had more time here, but we have countless waterfalls to photograph and miles to go before we head back home.

Next up, Asheville, North Carolina.