I know what you're thinking, WTH how does a thing like that even happen? Well, let's start at the very beginning. Birder, bird watcher, birder, bird watcher. Like the song says, "One of these things is not like the other, one of these things just isn't the same." Now you're really confused. What does that have to do with anything.
Well, I'll tell you. Fred is a birder. A bird watcher is content to watch the occasional cardinal or blue jay land on their feeder full of cheap seed while they sip coffee from an overstuffed recliner in their air conditioned living room. A birder will slither on his belly through mud in poison ivy covered undergrowth while getting his legs nibbled by chiggers and leeches on the very small chance that he may catch a fleeting glimpse of some rare nondescript brown sparrow.
And so, after dropping off the Bambi at a campsite, we cruised up the long road to the North Rim Visitor Center. That's when Fred spotted, no not a nondescript small sparrow, but six very large black birds........with big white numbers attached to their wings. Oh. My. God. Condors! Endangered California Condors, six of them in one tree. Screeeeeech, middle of road uturn, pull slightly off the road and then blam! blam! Uh, Oh, what was that.
For the briefest of moments, we thought it might just be one flat tire which would be a pain to change but we had a spare so totally doable. Nope, two tires both flat to the rim. Hmmm, what to do. Well, first obviously take lots of pictures of the condors because duh, six endangered condors. But then, yeah we need to figure out what to do.
Such bad ass birds!
We considered several options:
1. Call AAA - great idea but, guess what, no cell service
2. Wait for a ranger to come by and drive us to a place where we could call AAA
3. Ride our bikes to the visitor center
4. Count on the kindness of total strangers
A ranger never showed up, the visitor center was 30 miles away and that whole kindness thing turned out to be somewhat unreliable. A guy stopped within 20 minutes got out with binoculars because he had seen the condors as well, but when Fred approached him, I kid you not, he got in his car and drove away. Thanks, dude. We were about to consider the bike option when a family with two kids stopped and offered Fred a ride to the only gas station in the area. The wife stayed with me while her husband took Fred away and told me that they were just trying to pay it forward because the day before their car had broken down and a stranger not only helped get it towed but, get this, gave them a car to drive around.
So, Fred gets back with the local 17 year old from the lone gas station and he takes one look at the tires and is like "Nope, can't fix that". But, he does offer to take us back to our campsite and so we unload everything of value from the truck and I cram into the back of the kid's car with empty pizza and donut boxes and off we go.
Back at the camp, AAA connects Fred to someone who then forwards him to another guy who owns a garage who then calls his tow truck driver who says he's working an accident a couple miles from where our truck is and he will swing by the local gas station and pick Fred up. Fred has to walk a mile to the gas station, but the guy does show up and off they go. While Fred is spending quality time with the tow truck driver who breaks his tire tool btw, I am so nervous I can barely avoid spilling my wine as I chill out in the Bambi anxiously awaiting what I assume is going to be word of their inability to locate the proper sized tires, or a huge towing charge since the garage is 40 miles away.
I had resigned myself to just hanging out at the campsite for a couple days without a vehicle when, lo and behold the clouds part and the guy has some tires that work and what the heck he'll just waive the towing fee. Say, what? Yes, Virginia there is a Santa Claus.
Wanna see what caused all this drama?
This is either a broken metal traffic post or the condors have figured out their next meal by stranding unsuspecting humans in the middle of nowhere
But enough of this, let's try this Grand Canyon thing again.
Finally
You can see a sliver of the Colorado through the window
It's much greener and about a hundred times less crowded on the North Rim. It's quieter and cooler and you can have lunch in peace while contemplating that whole window into the two billion year old geologic blink of an eye thing.
Since, unlike the Grand Canyon, we did not have eons of time we did just a few hikes. One of which came with this ominous warning.
Now, Fred and I are experienced hikers and I have seen many signs warning of potential dangers along wilderness trails, bears, rattlesnakes, falling rocks, swift currents, boiling hot springs, etc. But never have I been concerned about a grouse attack. Pffffttt, how bad could it be? What's it gonna do peck your eyes out? Claw your face? Chase you down the trail?
So, off we go making sure to stay in the pink and black flagged area and Dun, Dun, Dun........
Run Away!!
Slowly we back away, she runs towards us and trys to peck our ankles, we back away faster, she follows pecking away, I run up the trail squealing, she chases after us. She is very persistent and does not stop chasing us out of her territory until another hiker shows up coming the other way and she begins the whole pecking and chasing process with him while we stand on a hill laughing our asses off.
As we give up and go back the way we came we see a family pointing to the aggressive grouse sign with a smirk. Don't mock the warnings my friends, a pissed off grouse is a scary thing to behold.
After a much needed lunch at the park hotel, we relaxed a bit on the terrace overlooking the canyon. Then a quick walk around the rim and it was time to head back to the campsite and say goodbye to one of my favorite places on the planet.
Love my new Ahnu boots
Non-aggressive blue bird and western tanager
Prehistoric short-horned lizard, if you harass it it will shoot blood out of its eyes, but we aren't lizard harassers
On the way back to the Bambi we took our time stopping to take pictures of the buffalo, which you will take pictures of even though you don't really care since you've seen hundreds of buffalo before because they are like waterfalls, you have to take pictures of them it's the law.
As we neared the area where we had our flat tires, sitting on both sides of the road were 16 California condors. Unbelievable.
The Grand Canyon marks the end of our tour of five national parks this trip. One in Colorado, Mesa Verde, three in Utah, Capitol Reef, Bryce, and Zion, and the north rim of the Grand Canyon in Arizona. Unfortunately, none of these are new so we are gonna have to start figuring out how to get to the remaining 21 that we haven't visited.
After our turn for home in Austin, we made a one night stop in Coconino National Forest which was really pretty but smokey due to nearby forest fires.
I normally consider the squirrels at home to just be rats in cuter outfits but these Abert's squirrels have the most adorable tufted ears.
The next morning we squeezed the Bambi into the narrow driveway of a home away we rented for two nights with these two crazy fun people.
Then spent those two days eating and drinking our way through an amazing selection of Sonoran cuisine. Ginger margaritas and spicy elote anyone?
We did manage to hike what is often considered one of the prettiest trails in the U.S., the West Fork. I don't know who makes these lists. I mean no one asked me so you'll have to hike it and decide for yourself.
Okay, yes it is pretty
Caught this shot of a very embarrassed titmouse
Sure it's all fun and games at 8:00 a.m. but coming back the temperature reached 100 degrees and there was no shade on the last bit of trail and one of us never drinks water and might have gotten a little light headed.
We don't normally count the drive home as part of our vacation because usually it's nothing more than Fred haulin' ass to get us back to Austin. But this time there was a little adventure. After a way too large breakfast in Sedona we started the drive with the expectation that we would end for the night in El Paso. We arrived about 5:30 p.m. but Fred was in the zone so he figured we could easily drive a couple more hours to Balmorhea State Park, one of our favorite places to stop for the night. So, with that as our goal we drove right past all the RV parks in El Paso and right into a mess. An endless stream of red tail lights on the out skirts of town due to highway construction. Dead stop for 45 minutes, no movement at all. People began illegally jumping the median to get on the feeder and then began getting off the feeder and driving on the side of the road in the soft sand.....and getting stuck in it. Total chaotic mess and meanwhile the sun is setting.
By the time we took the exit for Balmorhea, it was pitch dark 10:00, almost hit two deer and an owl to get there and guess what? Yep, no vacancy at the park. This has never happened here but we should have known given the fact that we visited five national parks, three state parks and called several RV parks all of which had no vacancies this trip. By this time, Fred is dog tired and getting bleary eyed so we figured we would just have to make the best of it and spend the night at a rest area. The closest was 20 miles away, not too bad we can make that, except guess what happened when we got there? Yep, not one single spot even at the damn rest area. Filled with semis and overnighters. Aaaarrgggh! Now what?
The closest town was Fort Stockton another 20 miles away where, according to Siri, there were some RV parks but who knew if they were full already, obviously there aren't a lot of choices out in west Texas and I didn't want to drive to every one of them in the hope of finding a spot. I plugged one in and hoped for the best but as we exited off the freeway we saw a glowing, beacon of hope writ large against the night sky. Walmart. Yep, spent the night in the parking lot, did not get murdered in my sleep and was plenty grateful that they offer this as a last resort option.
Got up at dawn, hauled buns home. Next day, dead truck battery. Good thing we have AAA on speed dial.
Summary:
Miles Driven: 4,500
Highest gas price: $2.30/gal
Best Part - Slot Canyons and Endangered Condors
Worst Part - Duh, two flat tires at the Grand Canyon
We don't normally count the drive home as part of our vacation because usually it's nothing more than Fred haulin' ass to get us back to Austin. But this time there was a little adventure. After a way too large breakfast in Sedona we started the drive with the expectation that we would end for the night in El Paso. We arrived about 5:30 p.m. but Fred was in the zone so he figured we could easily drive a couple more hours to Balmorhea State Park, one of our favorite places to stop for the night. So, with that as our goal we drove right past all the RV parks in El Paso and right into a mess. An endless stream of red tail lights on the out skirts of town due to highway construction. Dead stop for 45 minutes, no movement at all. People began illegally jumping the median to get on the feeder and then began getting off the feeder and driving on the side of the road in the soft sand.....and getting stuck in it. Total chaotic mess and meanwhile the sun is setting.
By the time we took the exit for Balmorhea, it was pitch dark 10:00, almost hit two deer and an owl to get there and guess what? Yep, no vacancy at the park. This has never happened here but we should have known given the fact that we visited five national parks, three state parks and called several RV parks all of which had no vacancies this trip. By this time, Fred is dog tired and getting bleary eyed so we figured we would just have to make the best of it and spend the night at a rest area. The closest was 20 miles away, not too bad we can make that, except guess what happened when we got there? Yep, not one single spot even at the damn rest area. Filled with semis and overnighters. Aaaarrgggh! Now what?
The closest town was Fort Stockton another 20 miles away where, according to Siri, there were some RV parks but who knew if they were full already, obviously there aren't a lot of choices out in west Texas and I didn't want to drive to every one of them in the hope of finding a spot. I plugged one in and hoped for the best but as we exited off the freeway we saw a glowing, beacon of hope writ large against the night sky. Walmart. Yep, spent the night in the parking lot, did not get murdered in my sleep and was plenty grateful that they offer this as a last resort option.
Got up at dawn, hauled buns home. Next day, dead truck battery. Good thing we have AAA on speed dial.
Summary:
Miles Driven: 4,500
Highest gas price: $2.30/gal
Best Part - Slot Canyons and Endangered Condors
Worst Part - Duh, two flat tires at the Grand Canyon
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