Long-ass Road : February 2014

Kakamega Forest, Lake Baringo and Mt. Kenya

Up and at 'em, back on the dusty roads getting a Kenyan massage. Basically, bumping down a completely potholed road being bounced out of your seat. There are a lot of things that are in short supply here: ice cubes, Starbucks, and most decidedly.....asphalt.

At the end of the day, we landed at a beautiful place called the Rondo Retreat. A slice of civilized heaven that normally serves as a sanctuary for stressed out missionaries. Lucky for us they let tourismos stay here too because it was a nice break from heat and dust and not being able to walk around in the national parks.

Our little homestead in the forest

It was nice here, really peaceful and calm. I think I'll just stay.

Do not mess with these monkeys while they're feeding or you will get the stink eye

Like I said, you can walk anywhere here but that doesn't mean you won't have to dodge a few cows and goats.

We took a hike in the forest and when we came back we saw a bunch of kids playing "marbles" with rocks and just having a great time teasing our driver. I thought, "oh, isn't that sweet just like when we were kids".

As we approached the van, some of the marble players came up and tried to sell Fred some of that root that you see rolled up in their hands. Hmm, what could it be? Turns out these marble playing kids were actually gambling and that root they're selling is the native version of Viagra. So, really these sweet, little kids are gambling drug dealers. Still cute though.

Meanwhile, back at the retreat. It's tea time.

Ginger cake, tea with milk and check out that bird list! It's just like Downton Abbey if they had monkeys and cheetahs

Speaking of birds, here are some highlights from the Kakamega Forest:

Great Blue Turaco

d'Arnaud's Barbet

Yellow-billed Barbet

Black and White Casqued Hornbill

I was sad to leave this place, it's cool and green and there are plenty of great birds and monkeys and you can wander around without fear of being eaten by lions or smushed by elephants or being bled dry by vampire tsetse flies. But really, what kind of African experience would that be, so off we go again headed to Lake Baringo.

Lake Baringo

Before we reached Lake Baringo, we crossed the equator several times and you know what that means:

Photo Op

I mean really how can you tell the equator crosses here, where are the yellow dashes on the ground?

We took a break along the way so Fred could train with world class marathoners in Iten. Look at that, he's in first place. Iten is a tiny mountain town at 8,000 ft. where all the famous Kenyan runners come from. There were lots of Europeans running along the road trying to soak up whatever it is that makes the runners from here so good. I wanted to roll the window down and yell, "hey, fool it's genetics", but Fred generally frowns on by this type of behavior.

This was the worst place we stayed, nothing says Spa Resort better than a room full of mosquitos, a big hole in the bathroom wall, and no running water on the one afternoon we really needed it.

The surrounding area looked a lot like west Texas to me.

Every tree looks like this and these puppies can easily penetrate your thick, rubber soled shoe. Our driver said he kept pliers in the van to remove them from tourist shoes and feet. It made for interesting roadside pee stops.

Run! It's Angelina Jolie!

Jackson's Hornbill

As many of you know, this is a birding safari and as an extension of that it's also a photographic birding safari. There is nothing more fun or rewarding than slogging through a muddy forest or sweating like a French whore on dollar night, swatting mosquitos and craning your head till your neck spasms just so you can spot and then take the money shot of some nondescript brown bird. Until of course, it isn't rewarding or fun. You'll glance up, see the bird, you slowly raise your camera and....it will fly. Or hop, or move under a leaf or behind a small branch. You curse, lower your camera and it will hop back up do a mating display, spread it's wings, feed it's young, attack a monkey or generally behave in a manner worthy of a PBS documetary. You do this for hours on end. You raise the camera, it flies away. You put the camera down, it primps and preens and mocks you.

So, for those of you who have asked what's needed to get good bird shots, I say you really only need three things:

1. A camera

2. Bucket loads of patience

3. Photoshop

Heuglin's Courser

Lake Baringo was my least favorite part of the trip. It was Africa hot and sweaty and by this point I'm pretty tired of the food. Apparently, the resort is owned by the former president of Kenya who also owns all the land around the town. A friend of our guide decided a few years ago to release a tortoise back into the wild that his kids had raised as a pet. He made the mistake of releasing it on the President's land in an area where there were security guards watching. He was immediately arrested and thrown in jail for three days because they believed that he was trying to put a curse on the President. Apparently, turtles are bad juju.

Mt. Kenya

A word about picnic lunches. Nearly every day we were out driving whatever hotel we stayed at would pack us a boxed picnic lunch. It consisted almost every time of a piece of chicken cooked to jerky stage, a boiled egg, a cheese and butter sandwich sometimes missing the cheese, mango juice in a box, a piece of fruit either apple, passionfruit or tree tomato and if you were lucky a packet of tiny peanuts. Usually, I took one bite of the chicken, ate the egg and fruit, except tree tomato yucko, and saved the peanuts for later. We had lots of leftovers which we always gave to whatever goat herder or mechanic or masai was nearby. But here's the thing, they don't eat cheese, the masai don't eat chicken and everyone had saved their peanuts. So, guess what? Even though we had food left on our plates, turns out hungry kids in Africa don't want it either.

That's Mt. Kenya and that was the view outside our window.

So was this. There was a watering hole next to the lodge that attracted a small herd of elephants, a few hyenas, a couple waterbuck and some gazelles. All very exciting. But, you know what else was exciting at the Mt. Kenya lodge? They put hot water bottles in your bed at night. I know, right!

It's a genet, it's just like your kitty at home except it will gnaw the fingers off your hand if you reach out to pet it.

Locked in once again

Do not feed the monkey, do not feed the monkey

These are colobus monkeys but I would have called them skunk monkeys if I was in charge of naming things. Which I really should be.

So long campers it's back to Nairobi, out of Africa and back to real life

Some Final Thoughts

Africa was the trip of a lifetime. I would happily go back tomorrow, well, maybe not tomorrow 'cause that whole jetlag business is pretty tough but I would gladly go back and maybe if eat ramen noodles every day for a year instead of eating out I can afford to go back People asked if we were worried about our safety, well nice people who care about us anyway and I admit I was a little nervous prior to our trip since there had been the attacks in the mall in Nairobi and there was that whole travel advisory thing from the State Dept. But, Fred and I are adventurous spirits plus I had already purchased that new day pack. And, guess what? Not a hint of trouble anywhere along the way, we didn't get malaria yellow fever or elephantiasis. The people are friendly, we saw over 400 new species of birds and 52 species of mammal, made some new bird buddies, and can now speak at least four words of Swahili which I am certain will come in handy in central Texas.

The only truly disappointing part of this journey? No pith helmets. It's sad really, I mean who decided those were not the coolest looking head gear ever.

Thanks for coming along with us, we're gonna rest up now 'cause we're older than we used to be and I just want sit in my rocking chair, outside on the porch with a glass of iced tea. And the Lonely Planet Guide to Chile. Which is our next trip. In March.

If you'd like to see all our photos from the trip, just click on the link below:

http://s1150.photobucket.com/user/fdalbey/library/Birding%20trip%20to%20Kenya%20and%20Tanzania

Tarangire National Park and Lake Nakuru

Wanna know an important thing I learned while in the Serengeti?

Do not choose to wear a daypack that is exactly, and I mean exactly, the same color as the tsetse fly traps used throughout the country.

This was a particularly bad choice given our next destination. Tarangire National Park which is one of the less visited parks in Tanzania. Known for huge baobab trees, large elephant herds, leopards and.....wait for it......tsetse flies.

It was another long, hot, dusty all day ride basically hitting the reverse button back through the Serengeti, past the Olduvai Gorge and the Ngororngoro Crater descending the western escarpment and veering southeast across the Rift Valley.

Here are a few shots of every day life from the travel day:

I saw lots of signs like this, but really don't you want a little fresh, slaughtered cow after you check into your hotel?

Pottery Barn Africa style

I don't know, it just doesn't convey cutting edge technology

Finally, we reach our destination for the next couple days:

Couple thousand year old baobab trees

It's a dikdik by far the cutest damn mammal we saw. It's the size of a medium dog. I want one really badly. I mean just look at those skinny legs. I'm dying. People do apparently keep them as pets and they are fiercely loyal. They will head butt anyone who approaches their owner.

These on the other hand are waterbuck. They kinda have a bummer of a birthmark in that it looks like a giant target on their butt. No one keeps these as pets but they do shoot them on a regular basis.

Yeah, I know, elephants in Africa so cliche.

Speaking of elephants, as we were driving down a dusty road we ran over a big pile of elephant dung. Our driver Emmanuel explained that people often brew the dung into a tea for upset stomach. I asked him if he had ever had any and he was all, "ewww, no that's disgusting". Then, after a long pause, he said "but I have smoked quite a bit of it". Well, sure that's totally different.

. The very latest in African fashion

Like I said earlier, it's tsetse fly territory out here and any exposed flesh is fair game but especially your tender, yummy ankles. Tsetses are large, aggressive and they bite unlike house flys that suck. They will draw blood every time and they would make even Mother Theresa take the Lord's name in vain and unleash a string of invectives that would make a sailor blush. You can smack them really hard and they will basically just bounce like rubber flies. For some reason, no one wanted to walk near me.

Ho, hum what to eat for dinner tonight. Leftover antelope leg, baby gazelle, tourist tartar.

You know all those fabulous wildlife shots you see from your friends on safari? What they don't show is what is happening around you. You are not alone. The drivers all radio each other when someone spots something good, like a leopard, and you get this.

Leopard Jam

The good news is that the animals simply do not care. They are so used to seeing people they will occasionally jump on the hood of the car or walk along side it and use it as a hunting blind to sneak up on their prey.

Some birdies from Tarangire National Park:

European Roller

Red and Yellow Barbet

Water Thick-knee

After two days at Tarangire, we hightailed it back to the border with Kenya.

I wish I had a photo of the chaos that is right around the corner from the oasis of the Departure Office at the border. Beggars, people selling nuts and fruit, masaai women hawking beaded bracelets, trucks carrying every kind of cargo, kids running around.

Our driver Emmanuel and our Guide Terry Stevenson author of the Birds of East Africa

Lake Nakuru National Park

Back across the border into Kenya, a short overnight in Nairobi and back at it the next morning early as we headed to Lake Nakuru an alkaline lake in the Rift Valley.

The Great Rift Valley

Grounds of the Lake Nakuru Lodge

It's a nice lodge really, but they do lock you in with big gates in the front:

And electric fences in the back. It's a bit like Jurassic Park only with a baboon problem instead of velociraptors.

That's the electric fence behind our room. It's there to keep out these:

There are lots of them here. So many in fact that they employee one of these:

See that masaai dude? He's there with that stick to beat the baboons back when they try to snatch your arrowroot and ugali off your plate.

Here are some of the wildlife highlights from Lake Nakuru:

Not just any old giraffe, it's a Rothschilds. Only a few hundred left in the wild. One way to tell them from regular, everyday giraffes is they look like they are wearing white stockings. You're welcome.