Kenya and Tanzania 2014

After a mere 23 hours of travel, you too can find yourself on the other side of the planet.  And so, just like that there we were attempting to land at Nairobi Jomo Kenyatta airport.  I say attempting because at the last minute the pilot aborted the landing because there was either another plane on the runway or a goat or maybe an angry pygmy or something.  Honestly, I was too tired to pay attention to the announcement and I just wanted to pick up my luggage and sleep.

Unfortunately, it was raining so we had to sprint across the tarmac, cram onto a bus, ride to another terminal, go through immigration, wait for our bags, find our driver among a crowd of people holding signs, wait for the rest of our group and then drive to our hotel.  Ugh.

We spent the first night at Ole Sereni, my first experience with having to go through a metal detector and have my bags x-rayed just to get into the hotel lobby.  The only thing special about this place is that it is right next door to Nairobi National Park, so theoretically, you can sit on your balcony and watch elephants and giraffes and hyenas.  What we saw was a chain length fence with barbed wire on top and a whole lotta nada.  There was a large toad hopping across the floor at the check-in area but it wasn't exactly the African wildlife experience I was looking for.



                  Do you see any zebras or giraffes or warthogs or anything?  Yeah, me neither.

But the next day, after a good long sleep, we met our guide and actually drove into the park and saw plenty of things that were way better than the toad.  The only reason this park exists is because the city grew around it until all the remaining animals were smushed together and someone decided to throw a fence around it.  Nevertheless, it's still pretty great.

                                                               Endangered Black Rhino

We saw two black rhino which is kinda amazing considering that most of these guys get shot and their horns sawed off to make dagger handles and Chinese viagra.

Some zebras horsing around

Did you hear about the giraffe race?  It was neck to neck the whole way.

Ah, yes this is Africa.  Of course, this is also Africa:

                             Traffic free for all.  Did not see one single traffic light in the whole country.

Just like Whole Foods

                                       Ever wonder how they make those charcoal briquettes?

                                             It's pretty much like Target on any given Saturday



It was crowded and dusty and crazy till we cleared the outskirts of Nairobi and then we got our first looks at the countryside as we headed to the border with Tanzania at Namanga and our next stop Gibbs Farm outside of Arusha.

After an entire day of roads like this, dodging potholes and swallowing dust we arrived at a little oasis of a coffee farm and were greeted with mango juice and a hot towel to wipe the dust off our faces.

I had a farm in Africa (use Meryl Streep's voice)

This place was like a little Eden with lush landscaping, gourmet meals and these amazing Out of Africa inspired rooms.

 See, not too shabby

See that big ol' stone tub?  I tried to get Fred to wash my hair like Robert Redford did for Meryl Streep in Out of Africa while reciting poetry.  He pretended he had never heard of Robert Redford, or seen the movie or knew any poetry that didn't start out with "There once was a girl from Nantucket".

This shot pretty much sums up our whole trip.

The original Mr. Coffee.  One non-fat, grande latte to go please.

Relax Fred you've got lots of time to learn those 465 new species of birds

Here are a few shots of the birdies that were around the grounds of the coffee farm:

Cinnamon-chested Bee-eater

Beautiful Sunbird

Blue-capped Cordon-bleu

Superb Starling

Honestly, I could have just stayed at the farm but then I would have missed this:

That's the Bill Clinton, Barack Obama, Mrs. Obama and Hillary Clinton shopping mall.  I bet they don't even know they've been honored this way.

But, politics and shopping aside, this is not why I came to Africa.  This is why I came to Africa:

Yep, that's the Ngorongoro Crater with a double rainbow I might add.  The largest caldera in the world.  It's a vast expanse of plains, highlands, forests and filled to the brim with mammals that would enjoy nothing better than to nibble your bum.

                             

       This was the tribe we were traveling with.   Five post-menopausal women and Fred, but then again isn't that how all great adventure stories start out.

We stayed at the Ngorongoro Wildlife Lodge which looks out onto the crater.

This was the view from the outdoor balcony where you could sit and have a beer or a glass of vino.  Speaking of wine, I went down from our room one evening and ordered a glass while waiting for Fred from this guy:

He started up a conversation and asked me where I was from.  "Texas", I said.  "Texas!!, home of George Bush?"  Well, yes.  "I looove George Bush!!" he said.  Ok, really?  Not Obama?  "No, No, No, George Bush only, I really love him.  Ok, I'll run with this, um why?  "George Bush gave my family a mosquito net, I love him".  Are you sure it wasn't Bill Gates?  "No, I love George Bush and if you see him in Texas tell him my family says thank you, and I love him".  So, there you go George if you're out there the bartender at the Ngorongoro Wildlife Lodge says thank you and he really, really loves you.

The next day we drove down, down, down into the crater and then drove around all day dodging wildebeest by the hundreds, elephants, lions, giraffe, cape buffalo, zebras, ostrich and on and on.  Here are some of the highlights:

Entrance to the Crater

Notice the leaf pattern in the ears of this Thomson's gazelle?  It helps him blend, that's why he's so smug.

 Don't take it so hard George, we'll get the next van load of tourists

Read my lips, no gnu taxes

Just roll that window down a little bit further, that's it nice and slow

Gazillions of Gazelles 

A blonde hair, wtf Frank

 Go ahead, honk that horn one more time

 Gee, I wonder why it's called a secretary bird

So a hyena and a giraffe walk into a bar......

My sister Sue had a haircut just like this in high school

Oh give me a home where the cape buffalo roam

I don't know, what's gnu with you

You know why this guy is all by himself?  He's been ostrichized.

My Dad had an impala but it looked nothing like this

Here are some of my favorite bird shots from the crater area:

Helmeted Guinifowl

Kori Bustard

Marabou Stork

Usambiro Barbet

Spur-winged Goose 

Lilac-breasted Roller

Lappet-faced Vulture

We stopped for lunch in a designated picnic area and were immediately spotted by these:

These black kites hang out watching for unsuspecting picnickers to drop their guard then they swoop in for easy pickings.  If you don't oblige and actually drop a piece of your chicken sandwich, no bother, they will snatch it right out of your hand.  Our guide said the previous year one actually grabbed a sandwich out of his client's hand and managed to claw a significant gash down the side of the guy's nose in the process.

 I'm staying safely under cover

 Bwana Fred

Time to pack up and head to the Serengeti.